One down, two to go. This is it. Eighteen wearings are in the books. It’s gonna happen. Even though on Tuesday I was seriously rethinking it all.
On Monday I decided to wear my imperial purple AA disco pants. Let’s say things weren’t going so well that day. I needed to return some items to Ross but I couldn’t find one of the receipts I needed. Next, sans the receipt, I headed to Walmart to quickly pick something up. As I walked in through the doors I was greeted by the Walmart greeters and shortly after I hurriedly passed them by I heard a hyena-like laughter as I made my way to the pharmacy. This was not the kind of laughter someone was trying to suppress even in the least bit. This was a full-fledged, from the stomach type of laughter you’d expect to hear at a drunken party, not at a workplace. I cannot help thinking that the laughter was directed towards me in my purple disco pants.
To add insult to injury, when I arrived at the pharmacy I had just missed them by five minutes. See, I don’t know if this is going on where you live, but around here all the big box store pharmacies are closing between the hours of 1:30PM to 2PM so the pharmacists can take a lunch break. Funny, I don’t know what they had been doing all these previous years. Also, it’s construed as a ‘pharmacists’ lunch break’, not the pharmacy staff lunch break or some other more egalitarian name. Anyway it’s a real pain because that is the time I usually patronize our local pharmacies around here (not just for me but for other people I look after). Needless to say I was seriously pissed and almost paralyzed in terms of what I was going to do. Should I wait the twenty-five minutes when they re-opened? But what about the fact that I told the people who were waiting for me in the car that I’d be right back? If I did decide to leave I was going to have to pass by the Walmart greeters again and risk being an object of jest. The choices weren’t good but I did go with the latter. I was double pissed; being the object of blatant laughter and missing the pharmacy by five minutes. What else could go wrong?
I considered making my way back to the car via the other entrance but that would have led to an extra long walk outside in the parking lot and it was even colder today. So I went the way I came in and decided to face whatever was coming my way. I actually started feeling quite self-conscious then and began to question myself whether I want to be wearing disco pants all this often. Well, I want to conquer this feat I created for myself so for the time being I must do it. But I don’t think I’ll be wearing them at Walmart anymore.
I nervously made my way back to the entrance I came in and there was no laughter this time as I walked out. Just a ‘thank you for shopping’ from the laughing lady—ironic since I walked out empty-handed—and a ‘bye’ from the other lady that I waved at.
Can I put on my ‘mean hat’ for a while? I do have one and sometimes I think it’s even bigger than many other people’s. All this is assuming of course that the laughter was directed at me. First of all, the laughing woman is obese. Second of all, she’s middle-aged. Third, she works at Walmart. I can understand some young, in-shape career-woman looking at me and laughing her head off. I wouldn’t accept it nor would it make me feel better. But what right did this woman have with that hysterical laughter? She could never fit into a pair of disco pants. They’re not made in her size! And not only is she too old for disco pants now but she’s probably been too old for them all her life. Her mental age has switched on and off between a child-like immaturity and a too-old-for-anything-but-the-grave type of mindset. To top it all off she works at Walmart! What the hell right does she have to laugh at anyone?? Because she has a job she is better than someone who doesn’t? I’m sorry ma’am but your job ranks up there (or should I say ‘down there’) with McDonald’s and other fast-food and big box store bottom-of-the-ladder employment. Incidentally, why would you need two greeters at the same entrance/exit? Sounds like she’s not being kept busy enough. Personally I don’t care if they have enough free time to parade around the store on a broom all day long, but when they start ridiculing the customers they’ve crossed the line and something needs to be done. In this case I’ve decided that I won’t wear disco pants to this Walmart anymore; or at least not the altered AA ones. I think I can get away with wearing the vintage ones that are a bit more conservative in fit.
I’m not going to give any more details about this woman other than to say that she is of the same kind that used to make comments and bother me about my tight jeans in high school. I guess some things just don’t change. But the good thing is I can wear disco pants and she cannot. She can only prance about in fat clothes all the while trying to make herself feel better about her body, her age and where she is in life by ridiculing others. Whatever works for ya but not at my expense.
After that waste of time at Walmart I headed on over to the Ross in the same mall. I swear to the gods that it looked like black Friday or some other Christmas shopping weekend. There were no parking spots available! OK, so the lot wasn’t completely full but any nearby spot that opened was quickly gobbled up. Sure I could have parked in one of those spots at the back of the lot that has never seen a car grace the space between the yellow lines, but it would have been similar to leaving the car at home in the garage and walking on foot to the store.
My ire compounded like a bad credit card by this point, so I drove to farthest Ross store that has become part of my rotation now. And the trip there turned out to be a waste as I found nothing there, nothing in the sense of the stuff I have been finding loads of the last two months or so. I didn’t even bother doing a refund or exchange on the one item I took with me because I didn’t buy anything.
The only redeeming quality of the outdoor excursion was some good food I purchased afterwards—fried shrimp, roasted onions, Lorraine Swiss cheese and Volpi salami. Oh, and a nice soft loaf of Texas toast. All that food made up for the bad start to the day.
One final bit of good news is that on Wednesday I will have my cranberry red pair of altered AA disco pants.